Sunday, April 18, 2010

Good vs. Different

There is a time in a person's life when he or she encounters a line. And the only way to progress is to cross it.
This line is the decision to be good.
This sounds fairy-tale-like, but I assure you, it is truth.

Most of my life, I have spent accomplishing, and succeeding, and standing out (well... trying to). I've tried for a long time, to be accepted for not just who I am, but for what I am. I've always craved that good feeling of being "the only one with..." or "the only person who..." or "that girl..."
But, now.
I have encountered this line, this decision.
And I've decided.

I don't care for the standing out anymore. I'd rather be good. I don't care about being the lone sheep anymore. I'd rather be apart of The Flock. However small The Flock is.
I'd rather be apart of something that may not be extravagant or the best.
I'd rather be apart of many people doing the same thing, being the best they can be, being together. And that thing is being good.

I feel like I'm typing a King Arthur crap story. but. maybe I am. And maybe the world needs more of the Chivalric stories we clung to long ago in our human history.

Friday, April 2, 2010

Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello?........
with mallory.
and mikelle.
and my cat.
that i hate.

Br& New

Hair. Has been cut.
Phone. Has been upgraded.
Teeth. Have been cleaned.
Life? Has been changed.

Not really.

But I feel like a new being.
Spring Break is coming up in about 2 hours, and 18 minutes, and I will be in a new city with the aforementioned "new" things.

With my hair all gone, I keep catching glances at myself in various windows, plastic objects, car doors, (the shiny eyes of miscellaneous people) and i don't even look like myself.
Why am I telling you this?
Because I'm starting to get used to it.
Because it's like life. Sometimes things get cut off, and you don't feel like yourself anymore, and you don't recognize your own reflection, and you don't know what to think about it because it's not bad or good, or maybe it's both. But after a while, this drastically empty feeling starts to fill in again. I'm starting to feel like "this is me" "this is my hair" "i'm still Ari."