Thursday, December 30, 2010

Check, Check.

Hello, I'm Reality,
hahahahhhaah > you look absurd when you try and dismantle my absoluteness, successors of the earth.

Monday, December 20, 2010


You know those rekindled friendships you didn't realize needed rekindling?
I remembered to rekindle some.

You know those new friends that you feel a little too comfortable around, but it doesn't matter because it's like they're old ones?
I got to meet one.

You know when you get so angry at life because there is way too much injustice and wrong in the world to be real but you can't do ANYTHING except sit there and be angry?
I received the opportunity to witness selfless love.

I'm happy me and my rekindled friendship are friends again:)
I'm overjoyed that I got to meet Emily, Laura's cousin. I even sang in front of her. I HATE singing in front of people (consciously), but I felt totally okay with it. Also, Shelbie never lets me down, she's my safety net.

But, I think my Christmas Season has now officially started, because I was present at a miracle. A miracle that I had somehow had managed to forget existed.


I will admit I was completely against to the idea of having a group of strangers awkwardly sing at a family in the cold where they probably thought it was dumb and awkward and patronizing.

But it was none of that.
As I stood toward the back, I watched this broken family with grinning faces and welcoming eyes watching back. There was real gratitude and real love.
This was coming from a family who lost a daughter and a father, and a son who looked in a great deal of physical pain with his crutches and one of his eyes welded shut.
But somehow they were happy to see us. All of them. Taking pictures and smiling.
That right there is Christmas.

It's weird, but I'd forgotten that feeling of generous love. Not realizing I'd forgotten it until I felt it again at a stranger's home.

And if you know my family, it's pretty embarrassing that I forgot, considering the love our neighbors have shown us in the past.

Anyway. I've been a Scrooge for a while. Hoarding love as if I've never felt it for fear of it slipping away, when in reality that is how love dies. By not being shared. By covering it up and hiding it away. Because love is meant to be shared, like a fire, so it can grow and give warmth.
Merry Almost Christmas.

Saturday, December 18, 2010


Sarah left this morning.

It was the spoiled icing on my cake of let-downs and departures and dejection this week.

ha. ha. ha.
oh the drama of my blog.

Have you felt that things are impersonal, lately?
Or is it just me?
Books, movies, music. Nothing feels unique and just Ari anymore.
Maybe it's because I talk to much. Probably.
I should just stop talking. Then nobody will take what's mine away from me anymore.

haha SELFISHNESS. sweet. Try it sometime. It's really awesome. It makes you feel this big -------->"."

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Remember that one time where I'm bi-polar?
Well. I think I hate the winter funk as much as I guiltily embrace it.
I think I'll sit through this winter vacation with as much enthusiasm as a marshmallow on a stick, pre-roasted.

This analogy literally took me 7 whole minutes.

And this is why the winter funk bites. I can't even make up a decent analogy to prove an unprovable point.

Ari Kokol

Today, I had a good talk with the Park man. It seems like we haven't even been friends for a while because we haven't gotten a chance to speak to each other like we used to. Always something/one coming up.
He's one of my best friends. Ever since sophomore English class. We joked about blogging about him. So I think I'll blog about him. (let it be reminded of the world who appreciated his talents and humor first). He makes me laugh. a lot. And reminds me to not take life so seriously. Which is ironic, considering where this post is going. or has briefly covered.
And also, he hates people as much as I do. Misery loves company.
Then I hung out at Smoothie King for. an hour?
Good old Martin. He's another funny man. I LIKE FUNNY/ANGRY people. Martin and Parker will be seeing a lot more of me. They don't P.M.S.
ehh. Is this a diary?
Should I start Anne Franking my Blog posts?
Dear Kitty....
I hate the world.
Angsty teenager.

Train of thought. definitely gone off track. What was the track in the first place? I dunno.
I think I'll go Google a picture to make your eyes less hurty.
Pretty pictures. Of fruit maybe? or a baby giraffe.? or Dog the Bounty hunter. Or. an embarrassing photo of Spongebob at last years' Christmas Party, in honor of the Christmas season. ANd/or Shelbie Shill.
Send in your ideas for googled images! You could get the chance to be a contestant on my reality t.v. show and possibly be one of 3 maybe winners. (only on specially marked posts.)

Wednesday, December 8, 2010


It's begun.
I realize I'm feeding it.
It=the funk.
The winter funk we all seem to be consumed by every year.
The lack of sun sucks our souls and caring and empathy away.

I feel kinda bad at how ornery we become.
And I'm the worst of them all.

Because really, I'd rather just mope and wallow in my own self pity, than actually be responsible for the choices I'm bound to make.

It's so easy to be indifferent to the problems of others.
So easy to justify why I have "other" things to worry about, instead of your things.
Crazy simple

Amazing Grace:
There's no time to be indifferent.
In English, we're reading a book (refer to above italicized predecessor of the colon). About those whose eyes have seen more rated R content in one MINUTE than mine have in a lifetime.

Curse you, Jonathon Kozol, for forcing us to acknowledge our responsibilty to our opinions.

What I'm saying is: This might be a public apology for my scoffing behavior the last couple of weeks. Due to my realization that I am apart of the epidemic of teenage apathy.