I blame Sar.
Mostly because it is her leaving that has really started to get the ball rolling. The ball that is rolling is also called my emotions. They've been dormant for a couple weeks now....
Sarah. Elizabeth. Barrus.
If nothing good at all came out of this year, Sarah did.
When she came to live with me, it was a dream come true. People asked how we could even handle living together, how we could handle being with each other for that many months.
I never hesitated once. I told them all that it was the best thing that ever happened to me.
We've always been best friends. Probably since we were 3 and 4, never has there been a beat missed or a tear left undried or a hug left too early between us. It's amazing to have friends at all walks of life, but Sarah has been the one constant in every step of mine.
I miss her.
I miss her more than is thought possible.
It's interesting how in control of my emotions I am lately. I rarely cry.
But the day after graduation, her absence became way too apparent, way too unavoidable.
So here I am. Just sitting. Thinking about her. Because I realize who she is in my life. What she means to me.
She is Home to me.
And I'm leaving for college.
My friends are slowly disappearing.
My family will be away.
My view of the world has altered.
And Sarah is gone.
I'm resisting the urge to make a soap-opera joke or a drama joke right now, because even on this stupid blog of a blaring screen, I feel that vulnerability.
So, for once. I'll just let it be.
Sarah always said that.
Just. Let it be.