Monday, December 20, 2010

Scroogish

You know those rekindled friendships you didn't realize needed rekindling?
I remembered to rekindle some.

You know those new friends that you feel a little too comfortable around, but it doesn't matter because it's like they're old ones?
I got to meet one.

You know when you get so angry at life because there is way too much injustice and wrong in the world to be real but you can't do ANYTHING except sit there and be angry?
I received the opportunity to witness selfless love.

I'm happy me and my rekindled friendship are friends again:)
I'm overjoyed that I got to meet Emily, Laura's cousin. I even sang in front of her. I HATE singing in front of people (consciously), but I felt totally okay with it. Also, Shelbie never lets me down, she's my safety net.

But, I think my Christmas Season has now officially started, because I was present at a miracle. A miracle that I had somehow had managed to forget existed.

Caroling.

I will admit I was completely against to the idea of having a group of strangers awkwardly sing at a family in the cold where they probably thought it was dumb and awkward and patronizing.

But it was none of that.
As I stood toward the back, I watched this broken family with grinning faces and welcoming eyes watching back. There was real gratitude and real love.
This was coming from a family who lost a daughter and a father, and a son who looked in a great deal of physical pain with his crutches and one of his eyes welded shut.
But somehow they were happy to see us. All of them. Taking pictures and smiling.
smiling?
smiling.
That right there is Christmas.

It's weird, but I'd forgotten that feeling of generous love. Not realizing I'd forgotten it until I felt it again at a stranger's home.

And if you know my family, it's pretty embarrassing that I forgot, considering the love our neighbors have shown us in the past.

Anyway. I've been a Scrooge for a while. Hoarding love as if I've never felt it for fear of it slipping away, when in reality that is how love dies. By not being shared. By covering it up and hiding it away. Because love is meant to be shared, like a fire, so it can grow and give warmth.
Merry Almost Christmas.

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